In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
