Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
