he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize