kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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