apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize