I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
