I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
