I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
