i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
then he tried to convert me to islam
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
