grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
