I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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