I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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