its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
