That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
