its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
