And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
