I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
