I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
