FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
