i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize