I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
