Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
