i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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