Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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