Tell her she can't have a vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
