I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Be still, my beating vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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