so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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