i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
