So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
