quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
