i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
