i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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