And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
