I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My cat gives me a boner
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize