If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
