She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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