i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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