Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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