i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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