I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I love having hate sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize