your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
