i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
