i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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