I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
