:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
