Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
