Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
