Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
