seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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