woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize