full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
