shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
