it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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