so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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