omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
