can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
