im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
